1. 1000 calories an hour my a** - You would have to burn a rate of 17 calories per minute for an entire hour to achieve a burn of 1000 calories an hour like commercials claim. Even in higher weight athletes I haven’t seen these type of numbers (and their conditioning would lead to less expenditure anyway). Obviously an obese person would pass out or likely become very ill after even 10 minutes at this intensity rate.
Think about that the next time you see a commercial claiming even 500 calories a hour for their amazing workouts.
2. Photo comparison fail – When you are doing weekly photo comparisons of your transformations make sure the comparison shots are the same size. If the after photo is a lot bigger you may look fatter when it isn’t even the case. You could get frustrated for no reason. Same outfit, same distance from camera, same size.
3. Not a fan – Stop asking me to be your fan on facebook when I don’t know who the hell you are and have hit “Ignore” 10 times. You are about to be unfriended.
4. 90 sec biggest loser wrap up -
- An obese person is forced to complete a vertical leap outside the bounds of sanity.
- People everywhere are crying and fighting, not because they are crazy but because they are f**king hungry. Let’s see what kind of mood you’re in working out 4-5 hours a day and eating 1200 calories.
- Bob has a heart to heart moment and pitches you to buy a product all at the same time. *Insert flash of Extra Berry Smoothie gum!*
- Jillian gets to the heart of the matter on why you are a fat loser by being incredibly inappropriate. For example, while pushing a prowler you might be asked how you feel about your sister dying when you were a kid.
- Every week people will lose an insane amount of weight setting even more unrealistic expectations to people for fat loss.
And that is your 90 sec bigger loser wrap up.
5. Dear Pandora – Your “I’m tired of this song” button is not working.
6. Choc chip pizza – I could have a diet completely made up of chocolate chip cookies and pizza. I am working on proving it to be a good thing and think I have found an angle.
7. Yes’um – If you must appeal to authority, appeal to better people.
8. 4′o clock in the morning genius – I will forever be cursed because my best ideas come when the infomercials start.
9. Dirty albums – I hate it when an album makes me feel dirty. It’s like watching Urban Cowboy, but for my ears. I just want to take a shower and cleanse myself of this audio wood paneling.
10. Peanut butter and cottage cheese - It’s brilliant.
11. Ab wheel done right – Stop doing it wrong.
12. Pull up a curb – Youth isn’t defined by your wrinkles, it is defined by the amount of time you devote sitting on a curb getting to know someone.
13. I hate snobs – I despise pretentious people so much it makes me pretentious about it. You are not better than the other person because of their financial status, their “breeding,” there taste in arts, or their formal education. It is what you do with what you are given and make of what you aren’t that counts in this world. Everything else is for your e-harmony profile.
14. Sorry, it isn’t because you’re 50 – Age is not to blame for the size of your ass. The food you huff in like a Dyson vacuum cleaner is.
15. Screw women? – Dismissing an entire population of trainees *cough women* because you can’t fix their problems means you suck, not them.
16. How hard was that, really? - Don’t be so impressed by the majority of before and afters you see, they are picked that way for a reason. Next time you see an “after”, really examine the “before.”
17. Before the lights are up – I have already nailed 85% of my Christmas shopping. I have never been prouder of myself.
18. Come on CBS! - Look I realize you are never, ever going to play Amazing Race on time. I will admit it took me a few times of being angry watching the whole episode of 60 Minutes and enjoying an entire 4 minutes of the show I actually DVR’d. Let’s just stop saying it is coming on at the right time. Let’s stop playing these games okay CBS? I am now taping Cold Case and Three Rivers. Yes, I am taping a full 2 f**king hours after the show because (if you can believe it) one night you were off by 1 hour and 45 mins! This is why you will always be the poor mans broadcast station CBS.
19. Pet Peeve – Don’t put dead batteries in my kitchen drawer. Ever. No really, never ever. What the hell is wrong with you? Throw them away.
20. What is with bulldogs and skateboards? -
Related posts:
thank you for sharing
The dead batteries are great. I have a similar one-if the box/container is empty, don’t put it back in the fridge/cabinet. Please and thank you.
I am guilty of the photo comparison fail! lol.. I’ll work on it!
I have been seeing more of those commercials for the Nordic Track Treadclimber. It burns 78x more calories per second then a regular treadmill! Dintcha know?
I about lost my dinner last night – I caught 5 minutes of Biggest Loser while channel flipping and it was SOOOO cheesy. Jillian tried to be bad ass with mega attitude talking about how amazing Multi-Grain Cheerios are. Something like “they have 5 whole grains, they are accessible and affordable…sh*t son!”
Burn a thousand calories an hour? That is great!
I know I can eat 1000 calories in 10 minutes.
My favorites:
Sorry, it isn’t because you’re 50 – Age is not to blame for the size of your ass. The food you huff in like a Dyson vacuum cleaner is.
Screw women? – Dismissing an entire population of trainees *cough women* because you can’t fix their problems means you suck, not them.
YOU ROCK.
The biggest loser wrap up is money on. I love number 12 though.
These are my favorite posts Leigh! I hate the batteries in the drawer too, my husband does this all the time. Why?!
I like your writing and have enjoyed watching you grow over these years. Keep it up!
My guess is bulldogs go for skateboards because their legs are too short to ride bikes.
I know 3 people at my gym who need to see the ab wheel video.
Totally agree with CBS and the Race. We do the same thing and PVR the show after as well. Dumb and lame. We forgot to do that last Sunday and only got the first 30 mins of the race.
re #10: have you tried PB2 with cottage cheese? It’s soooo good! I add a little stevia too.
Leigh, I know the angle for that cookie/pizza diet. Out here on the west coast, we have a popular “pizza” which is a gooey half’baked chocolate chip cookie with ice cream and other various toppings. So, combine the two into one concept like this and you have a winner!
6. Choc chip pizza – I could have a diet completely made up of chocolate chip cookies and pizza. I am working on proving it to be a good thing and think I have found an angle.
This is going to be in the FLTS updates, right?
I can burn 1000 calories an hour… if I write it on paper and light it on fire!
Eric Cressey on Ab Wheel rollouts…
“Just a heads-up: in this video, the athlete should have stopped a bit shorter in the top position to avoid the subtle lumbar rounding that took place; it’s a good demonstration of technique that’s good, but not quite perfect”
http://ericcressey.com/rollouts-friend-or-foe
I want to see you and Katie on Amazing Race!!!
THere are some good ones here!
And don’t put dried-up pens back in the drawer. When you have to try three or four or five pens until you get one that works, and then you wonder why you can never find the one that works–throw the dead ones out!
Rant over. Thanks, Leigh.
Leigh, if you make #6 happen I will heart you always.
<sings>I’m so vain, I bet I think your thought is about me! I’m so vain (He’s so vain!) I bet I think your thought was about me don’t I, don’t I?!
Even if it wasn’t I’m still using a quote from you on my Reverbnation page because that’s the sort of bad publicity I crave! (there’s a link to your site just to say “THANKS!”)
Love number 1
And the Biggest Loser recap– dead on. When I saw Jillian doing that to Rudy, I thought it was extremely selfish and ultimately all about her. She was upset because he didn’t tell her and omg, heaven forbid you don’t confide in Jillian. Her ego is so out of control these days and will probably only get worse with her new show coming out. Did you see the episode where both J and B were saying they were “playing God” and the faith of the contestants belonged in their hands that week. They really think they have all the power in determining how much weight each contestant loses each week. *sigh*
I hope you are friends/know Leith, if not, that makes this and the fb comment kinda creepy.
Omg, thank you for bringing that youtube video into my life!!
I agree with what you have to say about the biggest loser. I also read Tom Venuto’s articles on The Biggest Loser and I commented about the emotional and physical abuse of the contestants. Even though I am still watching the show for entertainment value.
Leigh, what are you doing writing these random thoughts when you could be recording them in a fantastic new podcast? I can’t shuffle remixes of Way Out West and The Scorpions’ greatest hits forever…need…smart…talker…Leigh!
Thanks for the random thoughts anyways. I would love to see an entire show on exposing the multiple wrongns of The Biggest Lose!
This is why you are my hero!
And thanks for the Ab Roller video! I just got one myself and wanted to learn how to do it right.
I love the photo comparison comment on #2. If we could only get all the diet and fitness programs being touted over the internet to do the same thing!
So is that good Ab-Wheel form (in the Youtube video)?
I learned something from the Ab Wheel video. Thanks.