This is the introduction to a series of posts looking at different approaches to goal setting. I am going to touch on everything from fat loss to changing your lifestyle.
What do you want?
Goal setting is an important section in your personal transformation. Often times people have a vision of what they want to achieve but fail to put a concrete label to it. With a little thought and creative use of words all goals have the ability to be defined. These goals can be in body, mind, career, or with relationships. This doesn’t have to speak only to body transformations.
You learn a lot about someone when you ask them what they want. In day to day lives most people don’t come close to forming this kind of relationship with the people they know, even their close loved ones. In my work it is my job to pull that out of people. I can’t do what I want to do or help people achieve the best that they can be without understanding what they want in the first place.
Celebrating mediocrity
I don’t believe in celebrating average. That isn’t what I do. If you want average results and answers you will not find them in me. I don’t celebrate mediocrity. If you think I expect everyone to be a Gap model you’re wrong. This isn’t about going beyond what genetics can give you. This is about you setting a realistic goal of what you want to achieve, and that goal being exactly what you want to achieve. What most people normally do is set a sub-par version of a goal. People settle with these goals after years of frustration. They are broken and beat down and decide to accept average as the best they can do. This is how most things go in life. A lot of people settle in work, love, and in health.
Why do we settle?
I could dive into a world of cliche right now but instead I will dip my toe. You don’t have to be a psych major to know that the majority of time people settle in their lives out of fear. Fear can be masked by excuse and procrastination, but fear is still your major leader. If you can set aside the fear and learn to embrace a change of mindset there is still the problem of “how.” Since I believe not understanding the “how” can lead to a lot of fear, I feel it’s a big part of solving the puzzle.
In these upcoming posts you are going to learn:
- How to assess yourself for which goals you need
- The quickest way to take charge of those goals
- How to make a life long pattern of continuous goal setting
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Song of the post:
Big Calm is an appropriately titled album. Since I was in the mood for a little chill music, it fit perfectly. If you are thinking of taking thoughts of your future out on a city night ride, I recommend bringing Morcheeba along.
Morcheeba – The Sea
Related posts:
Just getting caught up with my reading– this is such a teaser, Leigh! Looking forward to the series and your launch of Body By Eats.
I really do think fear is the the underlying black hole that holds us back and keeps us from moving forward. I have a lot of fears when I start to push myself physically: “I’m undereating”; “I’m going to get too bulky”; “Oh no, I can’t get hungry–my blood sugar levels will bottom out!”; “My hormones will suffer.”
These fear responses are all very convenient (and convincing) ways my body tries to convince me that I don’t want to lose weight. The curse of the overeducated chronic dieter.
The true fear is the idea that my body is going to become something new I’ve never experienced before, and that that just might change my world. And change is…..scary.
Every so often I think about how fear limits me in what I do–largely fear of other people’s reactions, which I suppose boils down to plain ol’ fear of rejection. :/
I have been thinking I need to have a serious goal-setting session. I’ve been doing short term goals (three months out) but I should do some long-term goals as well, and probably focus on emotional health and relationships rather than just fitness and fat loss. Looking forward to the series!
I like the thought of NOT celebrating average. There is a time when a phrase like that would have pissed me off because I had settled. I am not settled anymore. Maybe that could be another topic you tackle in more detail. Looking forward to more on this!
As a mother of 3 kids what am I supposed to do? How can I possibly achieve the “dream” when I have 3 little bodies and a husband depending on me?
Can I put in a request on Goal setting for LeanGains? Thanks
Word fix needed for:
How to assess yourself for which goals you need
Sarah – Thanks.
Anne – The only thing that we can ever do to harm ourselves like that is great an excess of stress from the fear and self doubt. This is why smart training and strategic dieting are winners everytime. Most hormonal f**k ups that are self induced can be avoided when the right planning occurs and a realstic approach is taken.
Amanda – “… and probably focus on emotional health and relationships rather than just fitness and fat loss “ You would be amazed at how hand in hand they go.
Keith – It can seem like a harsh thing to say because some people really fight against the thought of themselves being average. So I say if this offends you its because it is something you don’t want to be.
Carol – Depends on the dream Carol. For some the dream is 3 kids and a husband and little care for the rest of it. If the dream is more than you need to look at how much time you give to them and how much time you give to yourself.
Greg – It is already being discussed.
Peace – Fixed. Thanks for the heads up.
This is right on target…and more than fitting to post this here as well as on your FB page…, just wanted to follow up with you: my research project, inspired in great part by you, was accepted for presentation by the International College of Equine Exercise Physiologists meeting in South Africa in 2010! It’s a worldwide conference of elite practitioners…..Again, my deepest gratitude for all you do. Without you, this would never have been possible….. Who knew when I skeptically said, “well, ok…I’ll try”
OH..ps..finally dating in ernest now…and met someone I think is pretty special too
I can’t wait for the goal article. I have been struggling with a stuck weight and was thinking about just giving up and accepting where I am. It has been a long haul and dieting is never fun but your article struck a chord with me… why settle for average? why not actually achieve what I have always dreamed of achieving? why cut myself short? If I am doing the work now I just need to keep at it. I need to stop settling for less than my ideal. Thanks Leigh!! I needed a little motivation. You are it to so many people… keep up the good work.
I’ve recently changed my mindset towards goals. I have, for the most part, eliminated time frames, such as “I will achieve X by Y.” Say that my big goal is to lose 20 pounds of body fat. I start small. I say that my goal is five pounds. I don’t put a date on the goal. But, I force myself to perform the habits consistent with my goal. Then, I don’t have to feal like a failure it takes a long time. Then, after I’ve lost five pounds, I set a new goal, perhaps to lose 4 pounds of body fat.
Again, I make sure my behaviors are consistent with the goal, but I don’t stress over the time frame.
I can control my behaviors (for the most part). I can’t control how my body will react to those behaviors. So, a time goal seems meaningless. And, if progress stalls, I change my habits to push things along. The closer I get to an ultimate goal, the more I celebrate each little step of the way. That way, I’m not tied up in just a single goal that is either going to take a long time or perhaps not happen. I can be happy with progress during the journey.
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