(The Melody Principle posts are dedicated to giving you variety for your workout playlists. If you enjoy this one make sure to check the archives for others.)
There exists different types of guilty pleasures. There are guilty pleasures we are allowed to enjoy. Guilty pleasures that so many people have surrendered to, it becomes a born again masterpiece. A few notable examples are, “Elton John – Bennie and the Jets”, “Katrina and the Waves – Walking on Sunshine” or anything touched by the wisdom of Hall and Oats.
This is not one of those guilty pleasure mixes.
No, this mix rips to the core everything you don’t want to admit liking. Songs so pathetic you think the sheer admittance of them will leave you alone for the rest of your life. The only hope you have after admitting you like this music is reality TV show dating. There is only one word to describe liking these songs – shame. It is okay, you are among friends.
What does a song have to be in order to make it on a list like this? A song must possess at least a few, if not all, or these qualities.
- Labeled as “Adult Contemporary Pop”
- Album cover depicts a male or female with long flowing curly hair
- They have the worst personalities known to man, but the groove still gets you
- You could see them “make it” in a Miami lounge club
- They once played in a Miami lounge club
- The song has potential to cause spontaneous combustion in 1% of the population. This is what makes it compelling.
- They were a group put together for the sole purpose of making money, lack integrity, and sex appeal.
- They had a WTF? moment in an otherwise decent career of music. We forgive you.
The above are just a few ways you can make it onto this list. Before I share my selections, you need to read the following disclaimer.
“Leighpeele.com is not responsible for any illness, mental instability, shame at personal enjoyment or therapy bills due to admitting you like some of these songs. Listen at your own risk.”
1. Jon Secada - Just Another Day
I still love you Jon Secada. Sure, I thought you were the host of Iron Chef for a while, but take it as a compliment! You created a song full of melodic self-made harmonies, mixed with an oddly upfront piano lead.
2. Mariah Carey – Make It Happen
If Mariah Carey says, “You can make it happen!” it means you can. By the way, Mariah, I liked you much better before the nose job and diva attitude. Your plaid/5-7-9 stage was the bestest!
3. Amy Grant – Baby, Baby
I recently had a conversation with someone who admitted a crush on Amy Grant. It was weird. To be honest, I wanted to put the duet with Peter Cetera.
4. Michael Bolton – Time, Love and Tenderness
Holy s**t are you serious? It is Michael “I love you long locks” Bolton. You died to me after the haircut. Dead to me I said!
5. Bobby Brown – Own Our Own
First, you get Bobby Brown. Then you get Bobby rapping. If this wasn’t enough, the song was made for the Ghostbusters II soundtrack. I get shaken’ thinking of a montage featuring Dan Aykroyd.
6. Paul Simon – You Can Call Me Al
This should be the most annoying song in the world, but something about it inspires happiness and trumpet playing.
7. Huey Lewis and The News – The Heart of Rock and Roll
You know a song is good when the Chipmunks cover it in the best cartoon ever – “The Chipmunk Adventure.” I hated Huey Lewis with a passion till I met this boy this one time and…
Let’s just say, you are missed JB.
8. Snow – Informer
Canadian white rapper, for the win.
9. Phil Collins – Sussudio
Phil Collins is brilliant. For the most part, people have given in to his genius. When they haven’t they bring up this song. Why did you make it harder on me Phil? I don’t know what you are singing about, but I like it anyway.
10. Wilson Phillips – Hold on
Wilson Phillips gave birth of the “double-fist chest hold” and tight harmonies. While they looked like (original cast) Melrose Place rejects, they sang like angels.
11. Billy Ocean – When the Going Get’s Tough
Billy Ocean is one of the most underrated singers of the 80′s. Why did I choose this song over Caribbean Queen or Get Out of My Dreams? Two words — Danny Devito. Three more words — Watch the Video.
12. Good Charolette – I Don’t Want to Be In Love
I don’t like them and they ripped off a combination of 4-5 bands and different songs. If you ignore that and their bad tattoos, it is a good song.
13. Creed – What if
Did you ever see the lead singer on the Celebrity Poker show on Bravo? He was the biggest prick I have ever seen. Look, I can’t make any excuses. Sometimes you just like a watered down aggressive rock song. I can’t help it. I even find it a little sexy. I don’t know why. STOP JUDGING ME YOU A**HOLES!
14. Nickelback – How You Remind Me
See the above.
15. Tracy Bonham – Mother, Mother
I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure, but it feels like it should be. It could have to do with the fact she sounds like a psychotic chick who was rejected for the true life story of Single White Female.
16. Marcy Playground – Sex and Candy
This song is so f**king disturbing to me. Why? Band name + song name = f**king disturbing and creepy. Did I mention the guy looks like a poster boy for those who climb clock towers? Enjoy your cool down.
Related posts:
You did go too far.
I know, I know.
Hehe! Funny stuff- we just keep learning more about you every day…. I never would have expected this. Your tough girl attitude just fell away
I am as hardcore as they come. It takes guts to put something like this out there. It’s rocky level brave Lori!
You went way too far with this one…. That Billy Ocean song is burned into my mind – it reminds me of the day camp for fat kids my parents dragged me to, cause they played it every damn week… I hate it. You suck. and fat camp failed as well. Doubly dousche-ie moment right now.
But on the other hand, you’ve got “Heart of Rock n Roll”… which is burned into fond memories at both the roller rink and ice rink.. I think you may have redeemed yourself… but I’ll have to ignore everything else on this list.
I *really* thought you would have had “Poison” (Bel Biv DeVoe) or “Gonna Make You Sweat (C+C Music Factory) on this list. hahahaha.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with Poison. I can even do an acoutsic guitar version that will rock your purple and red silk button up off.
I will do an accepted guilty pleasure list and you will see more familiar players.
Can’t go wrong with Nickelback on a workout playlist!
Sweet! The last two especially, I fully endorse them both.
It’s ok, Leigh. If it makes you feel any better I listen to Fallout Boy during my workouts. Don’t tell anyone or I won’t be able to set foot in Silverlake ever again!
I wont tell anyone that you lift the weights to Dance, Dance (P.S. – it almost made the list)
That’s it! I’m off to iTunes to download “No Jacket Required” and “Sports” and “Graceland”. I think that’s all I can handle right now….
No Jacket Required = Gold.
i love it! so fun
i loved loved wilsom phillips and mariah back in the day!
Bahahahaha!! I totally agree with some of those choices esp 6, 8, 9, 11, and Nickleback with all that sexy manlyness just does something to me.. Wack “The Edge of Heaven” by Wham on the end there and I got myself a new play list !
The list is awesome.. but tell me how i lift weights while signing into the mirror with my hairbrush!!! lolol. GREAT list Leigh.
We will call it Hairbrush interval training.
My friend’s claim to fame is that this one time in Sudbury, (mining town), Snow was passing through, and he hung out with him that night at the bar.
I’m not kidding.
I have a friend who feels the exact same way about Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell.
Why do we know these people, that is the question.
Mr. Belding!! Ok but see that’s cool, hehehe. Oh and I have Bobby Brown’s On Our Own on one of my ipod playlists…I totally rocked it out on a road trip and for a moment in that car, rapping along with him….I felt like a superstar….
I don’t feel like people are understanding the severity of what you have done here Leigh. If I wouldn’t have read your previous mixes, I would have a very different idea of who you are. I understand you perfectly and think you went into tan area of brilliance with this list. You could have copped out and put “In The Air Tonight” or Corey Hart, but you took it to what a real guilty pleasure is all about.
I don’t know what you look like but if you are moderately attractive, I would consider proposing.
Make sure the ring is from a cracker jack box or it wouldn’t be fitting to the situation.
OMG this is hilarious. Amy Grant???????
Interesting! But I can’t comment really since I found many of Kelly Clarkson’s tunes perfect for running to (and Green Day) and I now like to play the Glee version of Don’t Stop Believin’ if I’m struggling with step ups or lunges. The Glee thing is partly because I know nobody can hear it and I get a kick out of dying to something so saccharine sweet!
Finally – song that I know (and more that I do than don’t!
These brought back some good ol days memories- thanks!!!
My favourite playlist has to have:
Basement Jaxx – Good Luck, Evermore – I’m Running, Jamiroquai – Canned Heat, Robert Miles – Children…and just set it on repeat. (How many people said “Who??”)
Ok, my guilty admission is I like to add Weird Al polkas to my workouts! Weird Al Rocks my World!! Some folks would think my Ibiza collections would be the 1% combustion. It’s just so easy to run to rave music!
But Amy Grant??
This list is hilarious! I remember Snow was great to warm up to when I was young and getting ready to play in 3 on 3 bball tourneys!
Great list once again!
Thanks for giving Canada some burn, Leigh (albeit for all the wrong reasons).
Snow is definitely one of the best Canadian white reggae stars out there!
And if I were to put together a very best of Marcy Playground collection, I would definitely include “Sex and Candy” on it.
Ditto for Tracy Botham’s “Mother Mother”.
You know Canada made it up with Stars alone so I wont hold it against them.
^^ should read “Tracy Bonham”
AHHHHH! Leigh! No! You went there! You went there…
My good friend Carey had never heard “You remind me” but after learning that it had gotten stuck in my head one day and drove me crazy, she went through the trouble of memorizing the lyrics so that she could inter-splice them into casual conversation. Which she now does, often.
This playlist is “stuck in your head” hell.
Also, my friend Jeff wrote a funny little piece about Nickleback. The source of it getting stuck in my head in the first place:
http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/01/21/how-you-remind-me
Wow Leigh, I didn’t know what these songs were, but once I played them I remember them when I was a kid in the 80/90s (born 86). Some how unconsciously I hum these songs every now and then.